How to Keep Your Calm When Everyone Else Is Losing Theirs

If you’ve ever felt your heart race simply because someone else in the room was anxious, you’re not alone. Learning how to keep your calm in these moments is part science, part self-leadership, and part nervous system literacy.

As we move into a season where the world speeds up – deadlines closing in, families needing more, emotions surfacing, the collective energy feeling stretched thin – many women tell me the same thing: “I feel everyone else’s stress in my body… even when I’m trying to stay grounded.”

If you relate, there’s nothing wrong with you.
You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re not “overreacting.”
You’re simply a human with a nervous system that is perceptive, intuitive, and absorbing more than you realise. This is why it becomes difficult to keep your calm when you’re surrounded by urgency, frustration or emotional intensity.

And here’s the truth no one teaches us growing up:

Today I want to share five practices that I use myself and teach in my coaching, Reiki, and nervous system reset work, to help you hold your centre even when the people around you cannot.
But first, let’s begin with the most important understanding.

Your nervous system isn’t just responding to your internal world.
It’s responding to the room you’re in.
The people you’re with.
The tone in someone’s voice.
The subtle tension in someone’s face.
The energy that isn’t spoken but is absolutely felt.

This is called co-regulation, our biology’s way of syncing with the emotional states around us. It’s why you feel unsettled near someone anxious, drained around someone overwhelmed, or calm near someone grounded.

It’s also why, during stressful seasons, your regulated body can be pulled into someone else’s internal storm.

But here’s the empowering part:

These practices are simple, science-backed ways to help you keep your calm even when external pressures rise.

One of the quickest ways to shift your nervous system is through mindful, intentional breathing.

Why it works:

Breathwork sends a direct signal to the vagus nerve, telling the body, “You are safe.”
It lowers your heart rate, reduces cortisol, and creates an immediate drop in internal stress.

Try this: The Physiological Sigh

This is my go-to when I feel someone else’s tension trying to pull me in.

How to do it:

1. Inhale through the nose.
2. Pause, then inhale again, a little deeper.
3. Long, slow exhale through the mouth.
4. Repeat 3–5 times.

This regulates your nervous system, calming the stress response and helping your body shift out of tension naturally.

You can also download my free guide, 5 Breathwork Practices to Reset Your Nervous System, if you want different techniques for different moments (overwhelm, anxiety, fatigue, etc.).

When everyone else is dysregulated, your body needs an anchor.
Something simple.
Something physical.
Something that brings you back into yourself.

Why it works:

Somatic practices release stored tension, clear emotional charge, and bring the nervous system back to a stable baseline.

Try this: The Wrist Hold

This is a gentle self-holding technique I teach clients during emotional overwhelm.

How to do it:

1. Hold one wrist lightly with your opposite hand.
2. Feel the warmth, the contact, the weight.
3. Breathe slowly.
4. Stay for at least 1 minute.

This signals to the brain: I’m here. I’m safe. I’m held.
It calms the body surprisingly quickly.

This is especially important for empaths, sensitive women, and anyone who works in high-pressure environments or emotionally charged spaces.

Why it works:

Energy transference happens when your nervous system is open, attuned, or overwhelmed. A simple, energetic boundary practice regulates emotional absorption and strengthens your internal centre.

Try this: Visual Shielding

Not a barrier, just a soft, energetic boundary.

How to do it:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Imagine a warm light around your body.
3. Let it be soft, not rigid.
4. Say internally: Only what supports me may enter. Everything else passes through.

This practice keeps you from picking up emotions that aren’t yours to hold.

When the world feels chaotic, nature pulls you back into coherence.
It regulates your breath, your rhythm, your pulse, and your emotional state.

Why it works:

Being in nature increases alpha brainwaves (calm), reduces cortisol, stabilises heart rate variability, and strengthens the parasympathetic nervous system – the part responsible for rest, digestion, and emotional steadiness.

Try this: 5-Minute Nature Reset

You don’t need a long walk.
Just 5 minutes done with intention.

How to do it:

1. Step outside.
2. Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
3. Look at one tree, one leaf, or the sky.
4. Breathe in for 4 counts, out for 6.
5. Stay until your shoulders drop naturally.

Your whole system shifts in less than five minutes.

Stress and emotional overload often have nowhere to go.
They sit in your chest, your throat, or your belly.

Creative flow – writing, painting, voice notes, dancing, cooking, anything that is expressive – gives that energy a place to land.

Why it works:

Creativity moves you into theta, the brainwave state linked to calm, clarity, intuition, and emotional processing.
It pulls your nervous system out of defence mode and into restoration.

Try this: 3-Minute Free Write

Before reacting to anyone else’s stress, try this:

How to do it:

1. Open a blank note or journal.
2. Write everything you feel – no structure, no spelling, no rules.
3. Stop at exactly 3 minutes.
4. Take one deep breath.

Your body will feel different. Lighter. More centred.

I used to think calm came naturally to some women and not to others.
But over the years, through breathwork, Reiki, trauma-informed coaching, and my own healing journey, I’ve learnt this:

It’s a journey.
A gentle coming home.
A remembering of what safety feels like in your body.

And you can come back to this grounded presence, even when everything around you is unsettled.

This is why I created Come Home to Your Body, my 3-session nervous system reset to help you release survival mode, regulate your energy, and return to inner calm.

If your body is whispering yes, you’re welcome to book a gentle, free connection call.
No pressure. Just clarity and support.
Calm is the ability to come home to yourself, even in the middle of life.

If this resonated, you may find these helpful too:

• Find Your Inner Calm – 5 Simple Tools For a Busy Day
• The Journey Back to Calm, What Every Woman Should Know
• Your Body Is Always Speaking to You — Are You Listening?
• How Breathwork Calms and Resets Your Nervous System
• The Body Keeps The Clues Not Just The Score

Yvette Puchert is a Belief Breakthrough Coach and Reiki Master specialising in nervous system regulation, energy healing, and the journey back to calm. She helps women release survival mode, dissolve limiting beliefs, and reconnect with their true selves through somatic practices, breathwork, intuitive coaching, and deep energy work. Her signature offer, Come Home to Your Body, guides clients into a grounded, compassionate relationship with themselves – where healing, clarity, and inner steadiness become possible. Learn more about Yvette and the work she brings into the world.